Just pretend you know me

Original ad:

“Looking for a guy or girl who will pretend he/she knows me when we meet (at a pre-arranged date and location) in the street. More details will be provided to serious people replying to this ad. Possibility to discuss any type of compensation. Please whatsapp me at XXX-XXX-XXXX”

“Hi man, I am contacting you regarding the ad I saw on Craiglist. I’m ok to help you. And my compensation is pretty simple as I’d just like you to do more or less the same thing for me.

Cheers

Bob”

“Hi Bob.

Super. Let me explain you more in details what I need from you to make sure it is something you feel confortable with. It seems a good idea to me too to help you the same way. Please give more details, after I explain my story.

James”

“OK”

“So the idea would be for you to wait at the corner of 46th and Lex from noon on Friday. You will be pretending you are expecting me or something.”

“I see”

“I usually go out for lunch around that time. And very often, a couple of people from team exit the building at the same time as me. And recently they started to joke around saying that I always have lunch alone etc. Which is not always true. But most of the time I use my lunch break to go to the dentist or buy something I need. You know.”

“Yep”

“Anyway, it is becoming annoying to hear the same joke every day. So if you could wait for me and wave at me when you see me exiting the building on Tuesday for example, that’d be awesome.”

“I got it”

“I’ll send you a pic of myself in the morning so you know what I’m wearing and how I look like.”

“Good idea”

” Can you be there at 11.50 just in case and text me when you are downstairs? I’ll text you when I’m leaving my desk.”

“Sure. I work in the area and I don’t have any specific time for my lunch break.”

“Nice.

You see me. You wave at me. We smile at each other and shake hands.”

“Sounds good to me. Then?”

“I’ll make sure my colleagues can see that and wait until they leave. Then we do not need to have lunch together. I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday. But it would be nice if you could walk with me for a while, just to make sure.”

“No problem for me, man.”

“Awesome. Very awesome. Thanks man. What can I do for you then?”

“As I said, it is very similar. My colleagues and I are used to having a drink at The Nautilus (Midtown West joint). Do you know where it is?”

“Yes I’ve seen it a couple of times”.

“Good. Good. So, we usually have a couple of beers there. It can last for two hours. But to tell you the truth I am bored after the first 15min.”

“Oh… I see…”

“I don’t have a strong connection with my colleagues. They talk about stuff I don’t really relate too. I believe they think they are cooler than me. And I don’t really participate actively in their discussion. I don’t know what to say. Or do.

I don’t smoke. It would have been nice. Like to give me an opportunity to go outside and act cool.

I don’t want to take my smartphone and play with it, or even pretend I am texting a friend. I find that very rude. And I’m scareed they take my phone and see the trick.”

“Yes indeed.”

“So, what would be very cool would be to have you in the bar, and suddenly we see each other and we pretend we know each other. You know.”

“I see. And then?”

“Then, we just exchange warm greetings you know lile “Oh Bob how are you? Long time no see. You are in good shape. Let’s catch up properly soon.” Shaking hands and stuff. Maybe a couple of high five or something similar.”

“Ok. Do we need any cover story in case you have questions from your colleagues when I’m still talking with you?”

“I guess they will be too surprised to ask you anything. They’ll probably wait until you’re gone. Then I think I will say something like “Ah he is a great guy””

“Really?”

“Yeah. First I thought I would try to be funny and tell them “What an asshole”. It is always very popular to criticize someone in front of other people. But then I realize that they might think I only know assholes. So…”

“Ah maybe”

“Yes so I think it will make me look cool to say you are very cool and smart and all. Especially after you seemed very please to see me (please emphasize the fact you seem happy to see me in the bar, ok?)”

“Yes of course. Looks like a very good plan anyway.”

“I might throw in a couple of “dude” or “my boy”, to really show we are close.”

“And cool”

“Sure thing. And if we are both happy with these first two experiences, I might need you again in the future.”

“Totally. Same here.”

“I’m going to Florida next month. Would be nice to have someone waving at me at the arrival gate of the airport when I come back.”

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