Patch-up job

“Oh Paul, let me tell you what happened to me the other day.

– What have you done again, Billy?

– No, no, Paul. I did nothing wrong. Let me explain.

– Sure.

– So the other day, I was taking some cash out, at the ATM. When I looked at the other guy, doing the same, on my right.

– You are not supposed to look at the other guy when he is taking cash out Billy.

– Don’t be stupid, Paul. It was just a quick look. The guy arrived, it was a reflex to check who he was.

– Ok, so who was he?

– Just a random guy.

– Nice story, Billy.

– Will you shut up?! That’s obviously not the point of my story.

– Ha ha I’m just messing with you, Billy.

– So, as I was saying… I checked the other guy and I saw that he was a worker. You know, the proper worker. Just taking some cash out before going back to his construction site. And… and… I realized at that precise moment… that we were wearing the same thing.

– What do you mean?

– I mean… this guy… a proper worker… was wearing a dirty pair of jeans, with paint stains all over the legs… and an old pair of Timberlands, you know, the kind of shoes that they have to wear while on the construction site.

– Sure.

– And I was wearing exactly that! You know my pair of jeans full of fake paint stains, right?

– Yes, I think I know.

– Yep. I was wearing it. And my old pair of Timberlands. The same thing, I’m telling you!

– This kind of thing happens, man.

– Yeah but it made me realize… that I was… a fraud.

– … a fraud?!

– Yes man. A fraud. To my right, was this true worker. The real kind. Wearing a pair of jeans that got stained because he was working with paint, and a pair of big Timberlands because he HAS TO wear this type of shoe. And me, on the other side, I was wearing the same thing, just because it is trendy to do so. But really, I don’t need a big pair of shoes, and I have never had to work with paint. Never.

– That’s ok man. You should not call yourself a fraud. I mean, it’s like people wearing army stuff while there are not really soldier. It’s no big deal.

– Yeah yeah I know. But I could not cope with that. So I decided to do something drastic. I did not want to keep on wearing that and looking like a fraud.

– No, man. Don’t tell me you threw away your pair of jeans and your shoes?

– No Paul. I did not.

– Pheeew. So… what did you do?

– I bought a drill.

– What?

– You know… The kind that also does electric screwdriver. The basic stuff that you need if you’re doing some home improvements.

– Are you doing home improvements, Billy?

– No I’m not, Paul.

– So why the fuck did you buy that? What’s that got to do with your story?!

– I mean… It’s just… I mean that’s the whole point! I don’t want people to think I’m a fraud with my dirty jeans and my Timberlands. So, with a drill, they will believe I’m the real deal!

– So you are going to go out with your drill now?

– Exactly.

– Huh?

– From now on, when I need to take some cash out and I’m wearing my old jeans and my big shoes, I’ll take my drill with me.

– I don’t know what to say, Billy.

– I think it was the right decision.

– Sure Billy… Sure… But what are you going to do if someone starts talking to you? About your drill?

– Humm… But what kind of people would like to talk to a working guy with a drill in his hands?

– I don’t know, Billy… Someone with an axe… or with a chainsaw?

– Shit.


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