Safety first

“Sir?

– …

– Sir?

– …

– Sir, I can see your feet below the door. I know you’re inside.

– I’m busy right now. What do you want?

– Sir, I’m the safety officer. The fire drill exercise has just started, sir. We are acting like it is a real fire and all staff has to evacuate the building.

– Good, good.

– And my role as a safety officer is to check everywhere and make sure nobody is left behind… That’s why I have to check the toilets sir.

– But… right now I’m busy.

– I understand sir but I have to ask you to stop whatever you’re doing and follow me so we can leave the building as per the procedure.

– I can’t really follow you right now. I’m in the middle of something, if you know what I mean. But I appreciate your concern.

– Sir…

– Please be sure that as soon as I’m done I’ll leave the building…

– That won’t be enough sir. As a safety officer, I cannot leave anybody behind. I have to act like in a real life situation.

– So please be sure that if it was a real fire, I would stop right now and evacuate the building.

– …

– I swear.

– Sir I’m not sure I can accept that and let it go. I… I… really don’t feel comfortable doing that. I feel like I’m breaking the law.

– No no no don’t worry. It’s not you, it’s me. Now leave me alone so I can finish my business.

– Sir I have an idea.

– As long as it does not involve me leaving my seat right now…

– I’ll have to ask you to sign a document saying that I have done my job properly and that in case of real fire, you know what to do.

– Sure sure. I’ll sign your paper later on. No problem.

– No sir, I’m writing the document right now… hold on…

– What?

– ….

– Hey? What are you doing?

– Hold on sir.

– What the f… ?

– I’m done sir. I’m going to pass you the document under the door, as well as a pen. Could you please sign the paper stating that I have taught you everything you need to know and that in case of a real fire you know what to do?

– Come on! Leave me alone!

– Sir… please… so I can evacuate the building with the rest of the staff…

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