For some reason, I am claustrophobic. But sometimes I try to take the tube anyway. Last time I took it, I felt the need to write an ode to my journey to calm my nerves. Here it is:
Ah! No! I’m panicking!
And I thought I was the king.
I’m sure I’m low in 5-HTP,
I need more drug than a hippie.
We are now in Tottenham Court Road.
Oh I hate this fucking crowd.
I wish I knew how to write haiku,
Instead of throwing these words at you.
We’re finally reaching Euston.
I think we’ll have a problem, Houston.
Loud music from my Ipod, very lively.
Shit I hope I have enough battery.
Next stop is finally mine.
I’m gonna leave this stupid line.
Thank you very much Transport For London,
Please next time build train larger than a condom.